In 1998 I was 33 years old - I had lost the will to live, I had lost 'me'! I cried out to God... I didn't know Him but He was cruel, unloving and frightening - I knew this because I had been shown it. I cried out and asked God to kill me because I really believed I was ready to die. It was too cruel to keep me living. I believed that He would take me.

One week later I 'met' Him... I truly met Him! I had come home from my second AA meeting having bought 4 cans of lager! I told God that this would be my last drink! I went to bed.

Suddenly I became aware of everything slowing down - my heart, my breathing. It was the strangest feeling. I felt tranquil and aware of a presence in the room. The sensation got stronger and stronger and I became frightened. I asked God to "stop because it was scaring me". It stopped! I fell asleep and had never felt such peace in all of my life.

The next morning I looked outside at the street below, and it was different. It was bright and clean - like it was brand new - and the gnawing ache in my stomach which I'd had for so
long wasn't there! The ache for alcohol had gone! From then until now it has never
returned, neither has my desire for a drink.

This was the first day of the rest of my life...